UNWINDING

WANT

Using Your Mind to Escape Your Thoughts


“You must ask for what you really want. Don't go back to sleep.”

– Rumi

Hi there, Tom here (or just call me Asacker).

No need to wade through my bio. A quick search will tell you more about my books, talks, awards, and the whole “me” story (much of which I’ve conveniently forgotten anyway). Let’s just say I’ve spent most of my career in the fascinating world of belief and behavior change, and how it impacts both personal and professional lives.

Now, you might be curious: what’s been brewing lately? Excellent question! To provide some context, let’s look back at my research for my bestselling book, The Business of Belief.

During that process, I uncovered a groundbreaking insight: people’s desires act as the architects of their beliefs, which in turn dictate their actions. This fundamental principle unlocks the key to understanding human behavior.

But here’s the persistent question that’s lingered ever since: If this desire-belief-action cycle is so foundational (and extensive evidence confirms it), then why are so many people grappling with a lack of fulfillment and a general sense of disengagement? Is it something they truly desire?

Enter my latest book, Unwinding Want: Using Your Mind to Escape Your Thoughts. In essence, the book explores the idea that what people do, or allow to continue in their lives (including their thoughts), is, in fact, what they want.

It’s a paradoxical idea, I admit. You’re likely feeling some confusion, perhaps even a nudge to reject the premise. But if you stay open-minded and investigate the reality of it deeply, this exploration will force you to reconsider your assumptions. And, if you want it to, it will change your life.

This book will change the way you see your life.

Unwinding Want exposes the hidden forces that control our lives, compelling us to confront our deepest convictions through a groundbreaking form of self-exploration.

Drawing on decades of research in belief and behavior change, Asacker reveals how unconscious self-hypnosis traps us in cycles of overthinking and gnawing dissatisfaction. His groundbreaking insights expose “delusions of want” that leave us anxious and lost, obscuring our true selves and leading to spiritless lives of doubt and regret.

This isn’t self-help; it’s self-liberation. By seeing through the illusions of your thinking mind, you can live true to your deepest wants—relaxing without guilt, playing without fear, and being yourself without anxiety.

This paradigm-shifting book is essential for anyone ready to break free from self-deceptive thinking, and reclaim their freedom and joy.


“I love this book. It’s a roadmap to the kingdom inside of us all.”

— Duff McDonald, author of TICKLED: A Commonsense Guide to the Present Moment

Listen to a recent podcast interview on the book, Unwinding Want

  • Jay Goulart, Founder, Big Philanthropy

    “Tom's advice is refreshingly direct, deeply human, and emotionally resonant. His ability to distill complex ideas into simple, heartfelt wisdom is unparalleled. What truly sets Tom apart is his relentless pursuit of life's truths; he never stops looking, exploring, and questioning. We are all better for his unwavering dedication to understanding and sharing the human experience.”

  • Lynda McNutt Foster, Founder & Executive Coach

    "Tom is someone I trust to challenge my thinking and perspective. Our conversations result in the questioning of my beliefs and expand my worldview. He ignites my curiosity and provides me with information and experiences that have helped me consistently grow."

  • Mark Ramsey, President, MRM

    “Tom is that rare breed of thinker who gives you just what you need while he unwinds what you want. His words are always encouraging and spot on. He reminds us that upside down is sometimes right-side up and we had better get used to it. Like Neo, take the red pill. Listen to Tom. Let’s unwind this Matrix together.”

  • Jonathan Baskin, Artist

    “Talking with Tom is like looking through a lens that helps you see better and further without telling you what to think about it. He's also holding that lens up for himself, so he's not only a teacher but a fellow student. I'd say that's the definition of a visionary.”

Free Substack Newsletter

Inciteful wisdom and fun facts, straight to your inbox.

Top Posts

Get out of your head.

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ~ Virginia Woolf I’ve been examining it for years, and it has become quite…

I love you.

That's why I’m doing it.

What’s your purpose?

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer…